Church Online

“You Feel Me?”
October 13, 2024
Cityline Church
Jack Anthony Sheets
Lead Pastor

34  “A new command I give you: Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35  By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35

“Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost undistinguishable.” -David Augsberger

1. Listening requires humility.

13  Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish. Proverbs 18:13 (NLT)

19  My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak  and slow to become angry,  20  because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19-20

“The first service one owes to others in community involves listening to them. Just as our love for God begins with listening to God’s Word, the beginning of love for other Christians is learning to listen to them. God’s love for us is shown by the fact that God not only gives us God’s Word, but also lends us God’s ear. We do God’s work for our brothers and sisters when we learn to listen to them. So often, Christians, especially preachers, think that their only service is always to have to ‘offer’ something when they are together with other people. They forget that listening can be a greater service than speaking. Many people seek a sympathetic ear and do not find it among Christians, because these Christians are talking even when they should be listening. But Christians who can no longer listen to one another will soon no longer be listening to God either; they will always be talking even in the presence of God. The death of the spiritual life starts here….Those who cannot listen along patiently will always be talking past others, and finally no longer will even notice it. Those who think their time is too precious to spend listening will never really have time for God and others, but only for themselves and for their own words and plans.” – Dietrich Bonhoeffer

2. Listening requires presence.

9  Then Jesus said, “Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.” Mark 4:9

“To care means first of all to be present to each other. From experience you know that those who care for you become present to you. When they listen, they listen to you. When they speak, they speak to you. Their presence is a healing presence because they accept you on your terms, and they encourage you to take your own life seriously.” – Henri Nouwen

3. Listening requires incarnational practice.

1  In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  2  He was with God in the beginning.  3  Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. John 1:1-3

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:14

INCARNATIONAL LISTENING

• Enter one another’s world.
• Hold on to or remain ourselves.
• Live in the tension between two worlds.

The goal: To listen at a heart level with empathy, attuned to the words and nonverbal communication of another person so that the other person feels felt by you.

HOW LISTEN AND LOVE WELL
1. Give the person full attention.
2. Step into the speaker’s world; listen to their words and emotions; empathize.
3. Avoid judging, interpreting, and fixing.
4. Acknowledge the emotions you believe they are expressing.
5. Confirm what they said and how they felt was correct.
6. Ask “Is there more?” or “Can you tell me more about that?”
7. Repeat until the other person feels heard.

34  “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. John 13:34

It is impossible to love well and listen poorly.